Don't ask Don't tell
by Pixieblade
Summary: A stalled subway ride leads to some interesting developments within the ikkoku.


**Don't ask, don't tell**

Saiyuki AU

58/39/T

"Someone better be dead." Gojyo grumbled menacingly.

"It hasn't been that long. Try and relax a bit."

"We've been stuck here for an hour, 'Kai, any longer and the walls are going to start closing in!"

Hakkai sighed and shook his head.

"For once I agree with the moron." Sanzo bit out angrily. An unlit Marlboro was clutched perilously between sharp white teeth and Hakkai could practically hear his eye twitching.

"Bite me princess," Gojyo snapped irritably, fingers twitching along Hakkai's collar as he leaned back to peer out the cloudy subway window.

"I don't think you'll be able to see anything from here. Why don't you try reading for a bit?"

"No offense Hakkai, but I'd rather gouge out my eyes with rusty cutlery than look at anymore environmental crap."

Huffing slightly, the brunet twisted the top of his lover's dangling hand _hard_.

Gojyo winced, "…or, I could try reading some more."

Hakkai beamed and handed over a book. Gojyo gave him a weak chuckle as he started to flip through the offering absently.

Bouncing up beside him Goku radiated a pleading interest, big puppy eyes wide and blinking. Gojyo smiled, ruffling the younger man's hair as he handed over the book which was promptly snatched away.

Goku held the book up to the subway car's light and squinted. He turned the book sideways and frowned. Finely he turned it upside down.

He gasped and dropped the book, ears beet red as he scurried back to Sanzo's side, burying his face in the monk's shoulder.

"Oi!"

Sano leaned down and picked the book up, "What the…for fuck's sake!" he spat embarrassed-tossing the offending piece of literature at his two companions.

"Oh come on now, Cherry-chan, it's not that bad!" Gojyo teased, handing it to Hakkai.

"It's fucking trash, you freak and shouldn't you be concerned why your boyfriend even has such a book?" Sanzo glowered, violet eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"It's for a correspondence course," Hakkai cut in smoothly, while gently brushing the cover and placing it back in his bag.

"Yeah, see it's for a correspondence…wait, what?" Gojyo turned on Hakkai as red as his hair as he teetered between shock and intrigue.

"Mah, Sanzo?" Goku mumbled into his shoulder, hands clenched in his robes.

"What?"

"Those, um, _things_ in there…" He glanced down at the hesitant voice wondering if he'd finally have to have 'the talk' with his ward. Glancing down he sucked air in between his teeth; Goku's eyes were big and shining.

"No!" he hissed. "No. We are _not_ doing anything shown in any book those two rejects own."

"Ah, but Saaannnzzzzooo!"

_***Ding* **_

'_**Next stop, Rockefeller station. Next stop, Rockefeller station. Please be careful exiting the train.'**_

Gojyo stood, pulling Hakkai up beside him as the train lurched the last few yards into the station.

Glancing around, Hakkai smiled enigmatically as the doors hissed open. He tapped the side of the bag; Kama Sutra for Dummies carefully tucked inside and exited the train.

Gojyo tossed an arm around his shoulder and leaned in heavily. "So, this correspondence course…"

"Yes?"

"You've got homework and tests and such, right?"

"Of course, it's accredited after all."

"You being so smart and all, you probably don't need any help then."

Hakkai's lips twitched, "Oh I don't know, Gojyo, I never was very good at studying alone. Perhaps you could assist with some of the more….complicated projects?"

Gojyo's smile turned into a leer. Leaning in he brushed his lips against Hakkai's ear and opened his mouth to speak…

"If you two so much as breathe a word about this to Goku before we get back I swear to all the God's on this miserable little planet I will find you and kill you and I will smile, laughing with glee all the while. Do you understand me?" a deep, angry hiss brought the pair up short. Sanzo was right there, right in front of them so close Hakkai's breath ruffled his bangs. If the hadn't stopped they would have walked right into him.

"You're going to have to talk to him about this sooner or later, Sanzo, why are you fighting it?"

"Because you two don't have to live with the little monkey; I do!"

"So, won't that make it easier?"

"And what, for fuck's sake, do you think the old man will say about this?"

As one the two smiled and said, "Congratulations?"

Sanzo sighed, a hand covering his face as he groaned, what was worse, the two were probably right. Koumyou probably would pat them on their backs and make a pot of rice with red beans.

"I need to get a better set of friends." He grumbled, turning on his heel.

Hakkai and Gojyo stood transfixed, then turned and looked at each other, horrified, "Did he just call us 'friends'?"

"I think we might seriously have broken something in him this time."

"Nah, he's always been like that—stubborn."

"Yes, but to actually call us, to our faces…I'm horribly concerned now."

"Relax, Hakkai, we've still got lots of plotting to do."

"About what?"

"'What?' Seriously?" Gojyo arched an eyebrow and grinned widely, "Well now we've _definitely_ got to get those two together."

Hakkai chuckled softly, "Well, when you put it that way…"

"Damn straight, and we'll get the old man involved too, if for no other reason than to make his Highness's life just that much more interesting."

"Should we really meddle in his love life though?" Hakkai asked softly, a twinge of guilt panging his consciousness."

Gojyo laughed out loud, pulling Hakkai into the flow of traffic after Sanzo and Goku. "Of course! After all, that's what friends are for!"

Hakkai merely followed behind, smiling.

~owari~


End file.
